My Father is a smart man. At 90 he has his own web site where he writes stories of his own creation, stories of his childhood and also his beliefs that there is a conspiracy of Zionist controlling everything. I always listen and even if I don't debate him on his issues, he will go all over the map with his discussions. Many times believing I am ready to rebut him at every turn. The longest I listened this past week was 2 hours and twenty minutes. I finally had to pee so I excused my self from the room, which will usually give him time to relax or regroup on an other rant. Like I said I love him and I am trying to understand his need to constantly focus on the same issues of his poor marriage, lack of trust in all his children's intelligence...each of us has some issue that he can focus on and show how we are not as perfect as he is. At least that is the way is sounds.
My sister for example, changed her report card when she was in high school, so her grades would not be seen by him. Of course at some point a letter from a teacher made it home and there was some real disappointment in her from him. He has never forgiven her for this and to this day does not trust her. She also thinks he doesn't know what he is doing in life either, so they don't even talk to each other any more.
I on the other hand have caused all my problems in life. My divorce, loss of my children from the divorce and a variety of other aspects of my life. I see it as life. We make decisions and there are consequences, we live with them and grow from them. I have learned to cope with the difficulties in life and my mistakes, I don't blame them on anyone else.
There is a difference between my Dad and me. He believes all his problems in life have been others faults, his failures are because of his wife or children or some Jew he had to work for. For a week I listened and am still confused as to how to offer a way for my Dad to be happy. He isn't happy and he never has been. I don't say that lightly, he really hasn't been happy during his life and I don't know what makes a person feel that way. I read somewhere that a traumatic childhood will cause this behavior.
My Dad lost his father when he was 7 years old and his mother had MS all of his life. Obviously this would have an impact on anyone's life, but for me to mention this to him and suggest that he can or could have worked through this years ago, would be responded to with an attitude that I am just stupid or that I don't understand a GD thing and none of us kids do. He also points out quite often that "my generation" is really lost on what is important in the world and have bought into the propaganda of the Jews and Zionists. Of course, at this point I am always lost for words because I don't know how to combat a paranoid mind.
Please don't misunderstand my comments here. I love my Dad and I wish I could offer him an answer that he could digest and he would realize that the past week his oldest son, unemployed for over six months, given a rental car and money by my brother in law to survive for the week stayed in his small apartment on the couch to be sure he was in good health. This is the important time, I think in one's life, good times. It doesn't make sense to me to worry or preach about the Zionists controlling everything. I like to tell him, I think that he and I eating lunch together is "important!" But it falls on deaf ears.
I want to point out, Dad gave me money when I left, something I didn't want to accept, but I knew I didn't have the funds for gas to get home or pay for the groceries I bought for him. He has a good heart and a good mind, he has some real anger issues, that I have no expertize to help him cope with in life.
( I am posting this without a proof read, because I am exhausted and I'll edit later)
I love you Dad!!
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